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How can you deal with a lying spouse in your divorce?

On Behalf of | Jan 18, 2024 | Divorce |

When you attempt to negotiate divorce settlement, you and your spouse are going to have to be honest with each other in terms of what you want and need post-divorce, as well as what you think is best for your children. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, in many divorces, one spouse engages in persistent lying that bogs the process down and puts the other spouse at risk of losing out on the assets they deserve.

Are you in that situation now? Are you worried that your spouse’s habitual lying is going to pose a threat to a fair and just outcome in your divorce? If so, then now is the time to find a way to get a handle on the issue. But how do you go about addressing your lying spouse? Let’s take a closer look.

How to address a spouse who lies during divorce

Lies during the marriage dissolution process can slow everything down and lead to decisions based on false information. You need to head that off while still protecting your emotional and psychological well-being. To do that, consider doing the following:

  • Gather concrete evidence: Even though your spouse thinks they can manipulate the situation by stretching, bending, or disregarding the truth, you can set the record straight by presenting concrete evidence. Financial and medical records, for example, can paint a clear picture on issues that your spouse might lie about. So, be diligent in gathering the evidence needed to contradict your spouse’s wild assertions.
  • Conduct discovery: If you can’t get your hands on the evidence you need, then you might have to use the discovery process to help you. Here, you can formally request records from your spouse, ask them to admit certain facts, or require them to answer questions under oath. This can give you the information you need to move forward with your divorce while also giving you facts to contradict the lies your spouse spews.
  • Consider an investigator: Although your spouse is required to tell the truth during the formal discovery process, they still might lie. If you’re in this situation, then you might find it beneficial to have a private investigator on your side who can uncover the truth. This could be crucial, especially as it pertains to hidden assets, infidelity, and spousal support issues.
  • Identify witnesses: You’re probably not the only one that your spouse has lied to. If you have family members and friends who can support the truth and point out the lies that your spouse is telling, then they may be key witnesses in your divorce.
  • Keep a written record: Liars often contradict themselves, but they tell their lies with such confidence that you can end up believing that they’ve been as consistent as they claim to be. If you reduce your communications with your spouse to writing, though, then you can refresh your memory and avoid getting tangled in your spouse’s web of lies.

Don’t lose out in your divorce because of unaddressed lies

The judge in your case probably doesn’t know you or your spouse. Therefore, unless settlement can be reached in your case, that judge is going to make important divorce decisions based on the evidence presented. It’s up to you to show how the evidence presented by your spouse is untrustworthy.

So, now is the time to get to work finding ways to ensure that the truth comes out in court. It can be a cumbersome, stressful, and frustrating process, but it’s a necessary one, and one that you don’t have to face alone. Just keep in mind that you will get through this and have the opportunity to build the future that you want for yourself.