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The dos and don’ts of military divorce

Getting a divorce in Texas, regardless of your chosen profession, is never easy. It’s often filled with resentment, pettiness and backstabbing. But getting a military divorce is another animal entirely. For one thing, the culture and lifestyle of a military marriage is unlike anything in civilian unions. There’s the constant threat of deployment and life on the base can be a completely different reality altogether. For this and many other reasons, the divorce rate among those in the military remains high.

If you’re going through a military divorce, it can almost feel like a war in itself, but there are some things you can do to keep from becoming sworn enemies:

  • Do seek the support of friends, family and loved ones, especially those who are familiar with the pressures of life in the armed forces. They can give you the strength you need to keep everything together.
  • Don’t let anger take over. The natural human impulse is to start a game of blaming the other person for everything they did wrong. These battles have no end and will only leave you exhausted and bitter. Try to let go of the resentments and move on.
  • Do seek the help of a therapist. Most bases have therapy services that are set up just for times like these. 
  • Don’t neglect yourself. Oftentimes in a divorce, you’re so focused on your circumstances, you lose sight of your health. Take timeout of each day to do activities that recharge your batteries. 
  • Do contact a Texas attorney. He or she will understand the intricacies of military laws and benefits. The last thing you want to do is represent yourself in these situations. If the other party has representation, you could be sunk. An attorney can be an advocate fighting at your side to make sure your interests are protected.

Source: fortcampbellcourier.com, “Dear Ms. Vicki,” Vicki Johnson, May 29, 2014

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