Parents who get divorced have a unique challenge compared to divorcing couples who don’t have kids — and, obviously, it’s the fact that they have kids. Child custody and child support are major factors in these divorces. But even more important than custody and support is the way the children and their parents move on after seeing their family dynamic dissipate. How do all of the components of that family dynamic deal with their new dynamic?
First and foremost, it starts with the parents. They need to come to grips with their new situation in the wake of the divorce. Co-parenting isn’t an easy endeavor. In fact, that’s a great realization to share with your ex. Once the two of you are on the same page — once you accept that the task in front of you is great, and that you need to work together to make it work for both the two of you and your children — then co-parenting becomes much more manageable.
Once that child custody agreement is signed and you become co-parents, never forget that your child is the most important part of the arrangement, not past indiscretions or unsettled disputes between you and your ex-spouse.
That means that you want to stay true to the schedule you and your ex come up with, until life circumstances prevent you from doing so. When those circumstances arrive, be proactive and communicate with your ex so that you can arrive at a solution instead of putting it off and possibly creating more problems.
Source: Huffington Post, “Divorce Strategies Are Dumb (Just Do This),” Erin Mantz, March 31, 3014